Author Topic: I Need a Laugh. Tell me a Joke. Keep em PC.  (Read 107134 times)

rkbabang

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Re: I Need a Laugh. Tell me a Joke. Keep em PC.
« Reply #250 on: August 23, 2019, 10:14:26 AM »
I'll just leave this here. I disagree that they are "as clever" as dogs, they are far more clever.

Goats are as loving and clever as dogs
https://www.telegraph.co.uk/science/2016/07/06/goats-are-as-loving-and-clever-as-dogs-say-smitten-scientists/

Crap  :-\

Goats, cows & pigs are friggin' delicious but I couldn't eat a friend.

Might have to go to chicken only.

Please don't post a lovable chicken link.

Chickens are great!   Our chickens used to jump on our laps and follow us around.  One of them was so lovable my kids used to call her lovebird.   If you raise them as chicks and hold them a lot they grow up liking to be held.   When you get them a little older they just run away from people.  All animals have "personalities". If it makes you feel better there was one chicken we had that was such a jerk we hated her and all the other chickens did too.  She was a bully and would boss all the others around.  The other chickens eventually rebelled.  One morning we found Ofelia (that was her name) with no feathers, because all of the other chickens had plucked her nude overnight.  Then they started not letting her in the chicken house, there was always at least 2 chickens guarding the entrance 24/7 so that she couldn't get in.  She would go into the woods to sleep outside and we'd try to find her before dark and put her in the chicken house.  One day we couldn't find her and we never saw her again. 


DooDiligence

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Re: I Need a Laugh. Tell me a Joke. Keep em PC.
« Reply #251 on: August 23, 2019, 10:54:31 AM »
I'll just leave this here. I disagree that they are "as clever" as dogs, they are far more clever.

Goats are as loving and clever as dogs
https://www.telegraph.co.uk/science/2016/07/06/goats-are-as-loving-and-clever-as-dogs-say-smitten-scientists/

Crap  :-\

Goats, cows & pigs are friggin' delicious but I couldn't eat a friend.

Might have to go to chicken only.

Please don't post a lovable chicken link.

Chickens are great!   Our chickens used to jump on our laps and follow us around.  One of them was so lovable my kids used to call her lovebird.   If you raise them as chicks and hold them a lot they grow up liking to be held.   When you get them a little older they just run away from people.  All animals have "personalities". If it makes you feel better there was one chicken we had that was such a jerk we hated her and all the other chickens did too.  She was a bully and would boss all the others around.  The other chickens eventually rebelled.  One morning we found Ofelia (that was her name) with no feathers, because all of the other chickens had plucked her nude overnight.  Then they started not letting her in the chicken house, there was always at least 2 chickens guarding the entrance 24/7 so that she couldn't get in.  She would go into the woods to sleep outside and we'd try to find her before dark and put her in the chicken house.  One day we couldn't find her and we never saw her again.

Jeez, a guy could starve to death.

http://www.eatplantsdrinkbeer.com/readup/2017/9/7/plants-have-feelings-too

Does anyone have an opinion on whether dirt is cute?
AFL // BRK.B // CLB an incredibly stupid move // EW // GPC // MO an incredibly stupid ex-CEO // MTB // NVO // PSX // TRMD // ULTA // VDE // VLGEA // WFC

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rkbabang

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Re: I Need a Laugh. Tell me a Joke. Keep em PC.
« Reply #252 on: August 23, 2019, 11:26:27 AM »
I'll just leave this here. I disagree that they are "as clever" as dogs, they are far more clever.

Goats are as loving and clever as dogs
https://www.telegraph.co.uk/science/2016/07/06/goats-are-as-loving-and-clever-as-dogs-say-smitten-scientists/

Crap  :-\

Goats, cows & pigs are friggin' delicious but I couldn't eat a friend.

Might have to go to chicken only.

Please don't post a lovable chicken link.

Chickens are great!   Our chickens used to jump on our laps and follow us around.  One of them was so lovable my kids used to call her lovebird.   If you raise them as chicks and hold them a lot they grow up liking to be held.   When you get them a little older they just run away from people.  All animals have "personalities". If it makes you feel better there was one chicken we had that was such a jerk we hated her and all the other chickens did too.  She was a bully and would boss all the others around.  The other chickens eventually rebelled.  One morning we found Ofelia (that was her name) with no feathers, because all of the other chickens had plucked her nude overnight.  Then they started not letting her in the chicken house, there was always at least 2 chickens guarding the entrance 24/7 so that she couldn't get in.  She would go into the woods to sleep outside and we'd try to find her before dark and put her in the chicken house.  One day we couldn't find her and we never saw her again.

Jeez, a guy could starve to death.

http://www.eatplantsdrinkbeer.com/readup/2017/9/7/plants-have-feelings-too

Does anyone have an opinion on whether dirt is cute?

To live is to kill.

IKEA conducts bullying experiment on plants the results are shocking
https://globalnews.ca/news/4217594/bully-a-plant-ikea/

DooDiligence

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Re: I Need a Laugh. Tell me a Joke. Keep em PC.
« Reply #253 on: August 23, 2019, 11:32:15 AM »
I'll just leave this here. I disagree that they are "as clever" as dogs, they are far more clever.

Goats are as loving and clever as dogs
https://www.telegraph.co.uk/science/2016/07/06/goats-are-as-loving-and-clever-as-dogs-say-smitten-scientists/

Crap  :-\

Goats, cows & pigs are friggin' delicious but I couldn't eat a friend.

Might have to go to chicken only.

Please don't post a lovable chicken link.

Chickens are great!   Our chickens used to jump on our laps and follow us around.  One of them was so lovable my kids used to call her lovebird.   If you raise them as chicks and hold them a lot they grow up liking to be held.   When you get them a little older they just run away from people.  All animals have "personalities". If it makes you feel better there was one chicken we had that was such a jerk we hated her and all the other chickens did too.  She was a bully and would boss all the others around.  The other chickens eventually rebelled.  One morning we found Ofelia (that was her name) with no feathers, because all of the other chickens had plucked her nude overnight.  Then they started not letting her in the chicken house, there was always at least 2 chickens guarding the entrance 24/7 so that she couldn't get in.  She would go into the woods to sleep outside and we'd try to find her before dark and put her in the chicken house.  One day we couldn't find her and we never saw her again.

Jeez, a guy could starve to death.

http://www.eatplantsdrinkbeer.com/readup/2017/9/7/plants-have-feelings-too

Does anyone have an opinion on whether dirt is cute?

To live is to kill.

IKEA conducts bullying experiment on plants the results are shocking
https://globalnews.ca/news/4217594/bully-a-plant-ikea/

Screw it, I'm making bacon cheeseburgers tonight.
AFL // BRK.B // CLB an incredibly stupid move // EW // GPC // MO an incredibly stupid ex-CEO // MTB // NVO // PSX // TRMD // ULTA // VDE // VLGEA // WFC

Investable cash 16% + 18 months of survival $

rkbabang

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Re: I Need a Laugh. Tell me a Joke. Keep em PC.
« Reply #254 on: August 23, 2019, 11:50:13 AM »
I'll just leave this here. I disagree that they are "as clever" as dogs, they are far more clever.

Goats are as loving and clever as dogs
https://www.telegraph.co.uk/science/2016/07/06/goats-are-as-loving-and-clever-as-dogs-say-smitten-scientists/

Crap  :-\

Goats, cows & pigs are friggin' delicious but I couldn't eat a friend.

Might have to go to chicken only.

Please don't post a lovable chicken link.

Chickens are great!   Our chickens used to jump on our laps and follow us around.  One of them was so lovable my kids used to call her lovebird.   If you raise them as chicks and hold them a lot they grow up liking to be held.   When you get them a little older they just run away from people.  All animals have "personalities". If it makes you feel better there was one chicken we had that was such a jerk we hated her and all the other chickens did too.  She was a bully and would boss all the others around.  The other chickens eventually rebelled.  One morning we found Ofelia (that was her name) with no feathers, because all of the other chickens had plucked her nude overnight.  Then they started not letting her in the chicken house, there was always at least 2 chickens guarding the entrance 24/7 so that she couldn't get in.  She would go into the woods to sleep outside and we'd try to find her before dark and put her in the chicken house.  One day we couldn't find her and we never saw her again.

Jeez, a guy could starve to death.

http://www.eatplantsdrinkbeer.com/readup/2017/9/7/plants-have-feelings-too

Does anyone have an opinion on whether dirt is cute?

To live is to kill.

IKEA conducts bullying experiment on plants the results are shocking
https://globalnews.ca/news/4217594/bully-a-plant-ikea/

Screw it, I'm making bacon cheeseburgers tonight.

Me too!  Only I'm going to throw a fried egg on mine in memory of Ofelia .

DooDiligence

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Re: I Need a Laugh. Tell me a Joke. Keep em PC.
« Reply #255 on: August 23, 2019, 04:39:14 PM »
I'll just leave this here. I disagree that they are "as clever" as dogs, they are far more clever.

Goats are as loving and clever as dogs
https://www.telegraph.co.uk/science/2016/07/06/goats-are-as-loving-and-clever-as-dogs-say-smitten-scientists/

Crap  :-\

Goats, cows & pigs are friggin' delicious but I couldn't eat a friend.

Might have to go to chicken only.

Please don't post a lovable chicken link.

Chickens are great!   Our chickens used to jump on our laps and follow us around.  One of them was so lovable my kids used to call her lovebird.   If you raise them as chicks and hold them a lot they grow up liking to be held.   When you get them a little older they just run away from people.  All animals have "personalities". If it makes you feel better there was one chicken we had that was such a jerk we hated her and all the other chickens did too.  She was a bully and would boss all the others around.  The other chickens eventually rebelled.  One morning we found Ofelia (that was her name) with no feathers, because all of the other chickens had plucked her nude overnight.  Then they started not letting her in the chicken house, there was always at least 2 chickens guarding the entrance 24/7 so that she couldn't get in.  She would go into the woods to sleep outside and we'd try to find her before dark and put her in the chicken house.  One day we couldn't find her and we never saw her again.

Jeez, a guy could starve to death.

http://www.eatplantsdrinkbeer.com/readup/2017/9/7/plants-have-feelings-too

Does anyone have an opinion on whether dirt is cute?

To live is to kill.

IKEA conducts bullying experiment on plants the results are shocking
https://globalnews.ca/news/4217594/bully-a-plant-ikea/

Screw it, I'm making bacon cheeseburgers tonight.

Me too!  Only I'm going to throw a fried egg on mine in memory of Ofelia .

 ;D ;D ;D
AFL // BRK.B // CLB an incredibly stupid move // EW // GPC // MO an incredibly stupid ex-CEO // MTB // NVO // PSX // TRMD // ULTA // VDE // VLGEA // WFC

Investable cash 16% + 18 months of survival $

Spekulatius

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Re: I Need a Laugh. Tell me a Joke. Keep em PC.
« Reply #256 on: August 25, 2019, 09:32:26 AM »
Some people like their thuna with a bit dolphin meat mixed in.

Quote
If it makes you feel better there was one chicken we had that was such a jerk we hated her and all the other chickens did too.  She was a bully and would boss all the others around.

Jerky chicken is great.

I had some persistent coldcaller a while ago who  wanted to drum up some funding for animal rights. Nothing really wrong with this, but I hate persistent cold calls. She asked me if I liked animals or not. I told her, it depend on how they taste like. That was the last cold call I got from her.
Life is too short for cheap beer and wine.

rkbabang

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Re: I Need a Laugh. Tell me a Joke. Keep em PC.
« Reply #257 on: August 26, 2019, 06:59:32 AM »
Some people like their thuna with a bit dolphin meat mixed in.

Quote
If it makes you feel better there was one chicken we had that was such a jerk we hated her and all the other chickens did too.  She was a bully and would boss all the others around.

Jerky chicken is great.

I had some persistent coldcaller a while ago who  wanted to drum up some funding for animal rights. Nothing really wrong with this, but I hate persistent cold calls. She asked me if I liked animals or not. I told her, it depend on how they taste like. That was the last cold call I got from her.

I love animals.  Just about anything taste good on the grill.

I always wanted to tell a Jehovah Witness when they come to my door that I worship the Dark Lord Satan, but they are always so friendly I can never bring myself to do it.

DooDiligence

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Re: I Need a Laugh. Tell me a Joke. Keep em PC.
« Reply #258 on: August 26, 2019, 07:12:52 AM »
Some people like their thuna with a bit dolphin meat mixed in.

Quote
If it makes you feel better there was one chicken we had that was such a jerk we hated her and all the other chickens did too.  She was a bully and would boss all the others around.

Jerky chicken is great.

I had some persistent coldcaller a while ago who  wanted to drum up some funding for animal rights. Nothing really wrong with this, but I hate persistent cold calls. She asked me if I liked animals or not. I told her, it depend on how they taste like. That was the last cold call I got from her.

I love animals.  Just about anything taste good on the grill.

I always wanted to tell a Jehovah Witness when they come to my door that I worship the Dark Lord Satan, but they are always so friendly I can never bring myself to do it.

I tell them I'm Catholic, which is the same thing I tell evangelicals.

I get evangelicals in my neighborhood A LOT & the look of pity on their faces when I say this is priceless.

They may have my house targeted because of this.

 :D
AFL // BRK.B // CLB an incredibly stupid move // EW // GPC // MO an incredibly stupid ex-CEO // MTB // NVO // PSX // TRMD // ULTA // VDE // VLGEA // WFC

Investable cash 16% + 18 months of survival $

rkbabang

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Re: I Need a Laugh. Tell me a Joke. Keep em PC.
« Reply #259 on: August 26, 2019, 08:40:48 AM »
Some people like their thuna with a bit dolphin meat mixed in.

Quote
If it makes you feel better there was one chicken we had that was such a jerk we hated her and all the other chickens did too.  She was a bully and would boss all the others around.

Jerky chicken is great.

I had some persistent coldcaller a while ago who  wanted to drum up some funding for animal rights. Nothing really wrong with this, but I hate persistent cold calls. She asked me if I liked animals or not. I told her, it depend on how they taste like. That was the last cold call I got from her.

I love animals.  Just about anything taste good on the grill.

I always wanted to tell a Jehovah Witness when they come to my door that I worship the Dark Lord Satan, but they are always so friendly I can never bring myself to do it.

I tell them I'm Catholic, which is the same thing I tell evangelicals.

I get evangelicals in my neighborhood A LOT & the look of pity on their faces when I say this is priceless.

They may have my house targeted because of this.
^^^

Yeah, that's the opposite of what I'm going for.  That's why I never mention that I'm an atheist.